I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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