# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
kristin has been a bad kristin
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
