About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
