Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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