bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
