I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
