You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
