boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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