First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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