This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
