So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
