We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
