I am in a vortex of obligation.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
