i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
