I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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