I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
