feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
