I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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