oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
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