"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
