Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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