the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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