Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
