That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
