Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
