He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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