This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
