Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
