did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
