My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
