Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
