butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
