sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
