We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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