it was like eating out sand paper
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
