Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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