Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
