Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
