So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
