her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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