if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
