I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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