I can tuck mytits in my pants
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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