if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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