she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
