the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
