things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
