Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
