Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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