i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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